One must needs push my daughter fast on the swings. I mean fast. Like faster than you’ve ever pushed a swing before ever. Give it the ol’ boom! POW! Swoooosh! — but be gentle! Don’t knock her off! … Yeah, OK, but faster even!
Don’t worry, it’s a precise art, and therefore hard to get the hang of right away. So, if you’re ever tasked with pushing my daughter’s swing, here’s a helpful velocity guide I’ve compiled based on her carefully shouted instructions. …So she doesn’t have to explain it all AGAIN.
15 Things faster than which my daughter must swing:
- The wind blows
- The rain rains
- A very-fast bunny jumps
- FIRE BURNS!
- Bubbles pop!
- That round spinny thing over there. See that? Faster than that!
- A falling flower petal falls
- Lightening BOOMS!
- Stars shoot
- That bird flies
- That AIRPLANE flies!
- A FLYING MAGICAL CARPET FLIES!
- ELSA’S MAGICAL SNOW MONSTER WALKS!
- EVERYTHING MAGICAL!
- A belly-sliding penguin